My Story


This topic contains 3 replies, has 3 voices, and was last updated by Steven Steven 3 years, 1 month ago.

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    My Story

    Don’t know if the way I present my story is what we are looking for here but I guess if no one reads it that will be the proof in the pudding.

    My story that starts about 47 years ago is mostly about not believing in myself, brought about by mass stigma and ignorant protocol presented by the “Experts” controlled by the puppet masters. I knew what was good for me and what worked but I could not prove it to the misinformed general public which included my family and friends. I didn’t want to give up my family and friends just because they were lied to and I have made enough mistakes in my life to prove to myself that I could be wrong about something/anything.

    I went through things like facing 20 years in prison for being part of the Hippy movement and smuggling psychedelics like Cannabis, Hash, LSD and Peyote into the U.S. back in the 60’s.

    In 1985 my first wife, who quit drinking, wanted me to quit also but didn’t want me to consume Cannabis either. I had issues (ADHD, ADHD induced Depression, two broken bones in my lower back, a bad left knew from a dirt bike accident and a sleeping disorder) that had increased in intensity by then and needed something but didn’t want street drugs or pharmaceuticals so I did nothing for almost 14 years (Cannabis) and 19 years (Alcohol) but my issues took their toll and my life went into the toilet…just what the puppet masters wanted. I began using Cannabis again and things got better and better for me but I was back in stealth mode again and I felt like I couldn’t win for loosing.

    I found a job that would work around my College schedule and for two years I went through the ADS (Alcohol & Drug Studies) program at the community college near my home. I was worried about it mainly because I thought I was too stupid to go to college but surprisingly, for me, I did very well and all the teachers liked me and thought I would make a very good counselor. I went to work and I again found myself in confusion because I just couldn’t agree with the way the system was dealing with recovery and when I voiced my opinions they were not accepted very well and I finally left, went back to construction and said to heck with it all. I think I may have expressed it with a different word.

    In 2014 I finished my book called A Spiritual Awakening in Recovery which I didn’t think would be a big seller or anything like that but I wanted to put it all down on paper (digital) as a place mark of what I knew and believed so that in the future I could show what I was thinking 10 years ago and try to expose the recovery system for what it was. I talked about Harm Reduction in my book but I didn’t know that Harm Reduction had a name or even existed at the time of the writing and based a lot of my thoughts on the system at the time: hence the title of the book.

    My true platform is Spirituality (not religion) and of course I believe the lack of it is the base for almost all of the problems humanity is facing now, but I can’t go with that right now because entities like Religion and AA have destroyed the faith so many once had and now if I even mention Spirituality everyone defaults to religion and wants to puke so I’m trying to find another way to approach that. I don’t know if I will ever be able broach that subject but that remains to be seen.

    I am now doing my best to become part of the truth telling in whatever way I can and I have some people interested in me joining their team if I can prove my worth to them.

    My second wife is now ok with my using Cannabis as a medicine but it took a while to get it across, she also wants to start growing and producing the medicinal part of the Cannabis plant because she wants to use the CBD Cannabinoid herself as she has some skin issues and an anxiety issue as well. I can’t tell you how relieved I was to find she is not so brainwashed that she can’t see the truth. I think it was mainly due to the fact that she knows the names of all trees, plants, bushes and roots and all their medicinal uses and was interested in knowing about Cannabis but was never allowed to gather the information for the same reasons that most of the world’s people are not allowed to.

    Ok, so that’s it for now, good luck to us all.


    Steven, your story is so moving and is a great example of what people in this type of recovery are dealing with. Since I have been able to get to know you, I agree with your teachers that you would be a terrific counselor. You give off that positive, non-judgmental energy even through the computer.
    I hope to get my hands on your book someday. Thank you for sharing. 🙂



    Hi Steven,

    Thanks for posting your story.

    I’ve been calling my “spiritual life” my path

    I think that there are all of us spiritual people walking through our lives, sometimes connecting with like minded folk, other times going it alone. Good to hear about your walk on the path.

    I think I’ll post “my story” too.



    Dear Feralfrida,
    I just read your story and I took my time to allow it all to sink in…not because it was pleasurable of course…but because my mind body spirit is very sensitive and absorbs not only the story but the person writing it and all the players involved. Everyone plays a part and the majority of the people that enter and exit our lives all have a story of their own. We humans seem to pass on what we have learned and that learning always appears to begin generations back. In my mind most of the problems that the human race is facing are all based on the lack of a spiritual path and entities like Religion and AA have all but extinguished our faith in anything. I’m amazed that you were able to hold onto yours…you are obviously stronger that I. I have no words of experience or wisdom that could possibly belay what you have endured but I know there is a reason…perhaps so that others who meet you or read your story can learn something, I know I did. This is such a troubling time for the human race and our mother earth and I believe many souls have come here to rectify a great wrong. If that’s true it’s probably the reason we suffer the pain we have because warriors or soul soldiers always suffer the anguish of battle be it physically, mentally or spiritually or all three. I know not where your journey will lead you next but I’m glad you are here. Wishing you the best or wishing you good luck on your journey seems so little to offer but I will carry your story with me to remind me I’m not alone.

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